[Arknights] Hole Brothers

Series: Arknights

Characters/Pairings: Vigil/Doctor, Demetri/Doctor

Summary: In which Dr. Hana wreaks havoc.

Notes: -


(After Dr. Hana somehow dates both Vigil and Demetri. Don’t ask me how. I have an outline for that, but it’s still incomplete, and I feel reluctant to share it publicly for now.)

Dr. Hana: “You guys are fratello, right?”

Vigil: “Unfortunately.”

Demetri: “Why?”

Dr. Hana: “Congrats. You’re now hole brothers too.”

(Silence)

Vigil: (spits his tea)

Demetri: (chokes on his drink)

Vigil: (coughing, eyes wide in horror) “WHAT.”

Demetri: (glares) “You did NOT just say that.”

Dr. Hana: (winks) “What? It’s true. Relax. You’re not the first ‘rival siblings’ I’ve ruined. Besides, that means I’m also sisters with whoever you-“

Vigil: “Wait! What! You know you’re my- I mean-“

Demetri: (looking like he might dissolve into the table) “Don’t finish that sentence.”

Vigil: (burying his face in his hand) “I’m going to need bleach. For my soul.”

Demetri: (swears)

Dr. Hana: (smug) “Worth it.”

(Later on…)

Demetri: (serious) “So…she is your first, huh?”

Vigil: (face red, panicked) “WHY would you bring that up again?! You specifically told me not to finish that sentence!!”

Demeteri: (shrugs) “Changed my mind.”

Hana: (sips tea like a war criminal) “Look at you two. Getting all emotional over who got to me first.”

Vigil: That’s not - !! I wasn’t -!! I DIDN’T THINK WE’D BE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION AT ALL!!”

Demetri: “You’re loud. Which confirms it.”

Dr. Hana (cheerfully): “Can’t believe I took two mafia boys’ innocence in one sweep. I should get a badge or something.”

Demetri (raising an eyebrow): “Wait. Both?”

Dr. Hana: (grins) “Well, you were kind of emotionally constipated and technically experienced, but we both know that didn’t count.”

Demeteri: (murderous) “…You’re really out here handing out therapy and trauma exposure with tongue, huh?”

Dr. Hana: (smug) “If I make you face your demons while moaning my name, that’s just efficient healing.

Vigil: “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!”